A scratch on a painting. A smudge on glass that once sparkled. Tarnished gold. A wrinkle in your clothes...on your face. Each one of the first things you notice when you walk into a room, right? Not necessarily, yet maybe eventually. But why must these little things stand out so much and distort our vision of seeing something that's still the same object, something still wonderful...something still consisting of overall beauty? Does our focus have to remain upon that fault...especially when it's our own? But, then again, who says that it has to? Why can't we find the strength to conquer the ACTUAL fault--formulated within each and every member of society since it was able to take hold of our minds?
Babies don't know the difference between a mother with a big nose, or a crooked tooth, short hair, long hair, or a model. They are the truest form of purity within human nature for a reason. All they know is who feeds them, comforts them, and loves them. Why must this change? Not all of us let society corrupt our vision of what makes a person one of substance or value, someone a friend or a lover. But we're still all guilty at one time or another, no matter how perfect, of being that horrible self criticizer. If we're in that commendable part of the human race able to see the good in someone without focusing on his or her "society-deemed" imperfections, then where is the compassion for ourselves when we need it the most? Why do we lose that reality of the total picture and focus all of our energy and worry on faults of our own? And I don't mean character ones we're capable of changing. I'm not talking about the wrinkled shirt we can iron back to new. I'm referring to those scratches embedded within ourselves, those physical ones we can't just wash away. I mean the ones that tarnish the reflection we see when we look at ourselves. Something a little more complicated than a wrinkle in a shirt or a smudge on your face. And then you try to hide that "flaw" the best you can, holding on to the hope that others won't notice it, or you. In reality, many probably don't, or perhaps they just don't pay any mind to it. Sometimes trying to hide something, or focusing too much of your attention on it is what actually draws others to notice it at all. And most of the time, acting this way does not help the matter. It only brings a part of your self-conscious character out into the open for others to see. And this is a part of you that doesn't need to surface past the point of being humble.
We lose focus on the good qualities within us and let those that don't quite meet our criteria, those not part of our original physical makeup that emerge, take hold of our minds and attitudes. They're only clouds over our sunshine. But how is the sun supposed to shine again if you don't provide the windy strength to push that darkness over yourself away? The clouds will still be there, for you can't always have clear, blue skies in life, but you can still push them out of your way and shine through it. And who doesn't smile and brighten up when sunbeams appear after a dark, dreary day? It subconsciously gives us the reminder and hope that we can do the same and find the power to push through whatever we're allowing to block the beauty that we do behold. The change in you and your mindset will make others come around as well. We have to believe this, and we have to find this strength to overcome our self-obsessions on the reality we cannot change. Hope and faith are powerful things and we have to believe in the best. Each one of us is a beautiful painting.
Each one of us can shine if we let ourselves. Some of us have permanent smears and smudges there since production, some are knicks, dents, and faded colors that appear along the way, and others seem to have hardly any visible imperfections at first glance. But is their picture as exciting as yours? Their story? Their final product? That's for the viewers to determine...and ourselves. Many things we'll focus on in the mirror when looking at our reflections; it's natural. Some things we're just born with and they become a part of our appearance, characteristics, and overall identity. Other things will appear and change as we age, and this will petrify us. Some we'll be able to hide and fix: Gray hairs colored back to life, dark circles hidden, teeth whitened, arms strengthened, bodies toned. Others may require more serious measures to change: Surgery, doctors, treatments. And others we may never be able to alter or fix. And if we could, is it really worth it half the time? Would we even be happy with the change once it's made? And would a bigger part of ourselves be lost after it all? The reality is we're always going to wish we could change something physical about the makeup of ourselves, new and old things we'll still refer to as "imperfections". We're only human, and we need to give ourselves a break too amidst all the pressure, judgment, and expectations out there in a world filled with shallowness.
But while we hide behind these with worry for what we fear, we mustn't dwell in this state for too long. We can't allow ourselves to lose the spark that makes us who we are. We must remember we're created from an eclectic mix of genes, and this is what makes us unique. We must work with our faults, hold our heads high, work past self- and societal criticisms, and beam through it all with a smile. Maybe it's true when they say those who go through the most in life are the strongest, the most empathetic, the most full of life... or maybe it's just those who work through the obstacles and trudge through whatever life throws at them with a smile and with love to give that are the strongest and most admirable. May this be something to work at each day and remember when you're down on yourself. There are so many more important things in life, and wonderful things about yourself and what you can offer, And if you do this, you'll probably see your reflection sparkle with beauty once again.
Photo 1: Keke by Arthur Elgort
Photo 2: Raquel Zimmerman by Steven Klein
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