Exfoliate your life

Scientists say we can't live without water. People swear that ocean salt is the miracle wonder of the world. Both good and bad. Destructive and healing, yet mystical and alluring. Cuts will make their presence known as your submerge yourself into its water. But slowly your body adjusts and it becomes less noiteable--the initial pain fades--you get used to it. And the next day you feel almost healed, like the cuts look that much better, maybe you hardly even noticed them that next time. It's amazing how those tiny grains of salt rinse away the bad, as they find a way to embed themselves into the open wounds, unknowingly rinsing away the bad after initially thinking worse shall come. The irony of life.

The surprising twists in nature and life make you wonder and re-evaluate what you thought you knew. For you cannot know all, none of us can. It's mother nature's biggest laugh, what makes the unknown so powerful, and ourselves feel so small in the world of mystery and unexpectedness or the ocean of vast secrets. They say salty beach air clears your pores, smooths your face as the sun captivates your body, every nerve alive and awake, prepared for the pleasure or pain of what the sun stirs. They even say that pure salt drenched throughout the humidity is good for the lungs. Take deep breaths of it they say. Try our natural drinks of it and be cured they claim. Is that why so many of us love the beach? Why our throats long for moisture when air is stripped dry? The relaxing, healing power of nature all this time? Do we all just deep down want to feel cleansed?

"A lake is the landscape's most beautiful and expressive feature. It is earth's eye; looking into which the beholder measures the depth of his own nature." Spoken byt he nature man himself, Henry David Thoreau.

When I think of the word "regrets," I think about the word "change." Cause sometimes don't we just wish we hadn't done something: had that extra drink, spoken before thinking of outcomes, not allowed our voices to say no, lost ourselves for any given moment? A part of me feels strongly about not dwelling for great lengths on what's done, what's over, our past mistakes... Cause after all, we can't go back and change them. But I also feel even more certain that this brooding state is necessary--to an extent. In a way, self reflection has its own healing power, this battle with ourselves can prove to be its own cleansing process. Its grains may sting in the beginning, but opens up the possibility to heal ourselves if we allow it to. The tears in our eye may sting, but its the release of emotions that come with them that allow our hearts to become stronger, and our minds more at ease.

But you have to allow yourself to; you have to realize you need it; you have to be able to embrace it and use it as a tool for the betterment of yourself. Otherwise it just goes to waste, stays a stinging cut or gruesome scar. And I think this is ultimately what sets us sinners apart. There are those out there who make mistakes and shrug them off with nothing but a laugh and more to follow. Never given a second thought. Buried into a part of what transforms into your new self, where those mistakes are expected, now a pattern you find no need to escape. And if you're not careful, your values may change where the unexpected becomes expected, even now accepted by yourself.

But there's the other side to the sinners of the world, for mistakes will always happen; they're bound to--and that's natural, it's okay. We're all just humanly trying to figure it all out--ourselves included. But it's important to believe that there's some kind of dignity for those of us who remorse. Who allow those slip-ups to affect our vision, allow it to become the center of our focus and thoughts for a bit. Because if something bothers you, and you allow yourself to figure out why, it is then that you can find the right direction again. You have enough sense to realize it. You can strive for change, and you can begin to heal the cut away. Scars can fade if given the proper attention and care, so why not emotional ones too? But the difference lies in those who care and those who it doesn't phase.

But, like most things in life, you must be careful with this healing perspective as well. It's a tricky balance to master. Because in the end you have to submerge yourself (no toe-dipping), and let go at the right time. Our faults not to be completely forgotten, for continuous self-reflection time-to-time is helpful. But you have to forgive yourself as well. That's the secret and the most important part. Our religious selves will get down on our knees and ask for it. Letting our Holy One wash over us and help guide us back to where we want to be, the strength to not falter again. But when all is released, all emotions expressed, we can only move on by standing up again, right? And that's where forgiving yourself comes in. Because even when others do, even when your God does, the toughest critic is yourself they say.

So let go at this point. Make yourself become a part of the group who doesn't allow themselves to be defeated or permenently lost--especially because of yourself. Brush that dirt off your shoulder, and work on creating a better and stronger self. Practice, time, and patience. And most importantly? Course and Love. Just one big eclectic progress in growth. So make your own salt, don't wait for it to appear before you. Get on with healing. Submerge yourself in all forms of forgiveness, dry yourself off, and see the healthy new glow that follows. Heal your soul and feel the results.

You can make yourself into a beautiful human being, don't let your slip-ups taint you or keep you down. Exfoliate them away and allow a new layer of self to emerge. Breathe in that healing goodness and continue on. You can and will glow again, and if you're already taking your first steps to try, you're on your way. Your radiance is already shining through. Let it. And smile; you deserve to. Cause you're already farther than most. Photo 1 by: Lily Donaldson (Vogue Spain) Photo 2 by: Greg Kadel (Vogue Germany 2010)

Love: the truest form of airbrushing

Airbrushed photos: editing images to perfection and distorting our vision of reality people say. And that's true. Models may not look as flawless as they appear on those magazine covers. Alright, so maybe it's not right to photo touch these celebrities in posed pictures in order to make themselves appear like they would in an edited and perfectly lit movie. But that's a great controversy when it comes to models that are creatively posed and dressed within a landscaped set of Vogue. As those pages get printed and our eyes take in the beauty of those shots, the rich colors, and illuminous models, we have to question if this is wrong or just art? So maybe the world has grown into an era of attitudes stuck within shallow perceptions that may not be able to envision this wonderful scene in Vogue if it were only glanced upon in person. Maybe society needs those colors enriched and makeup to stand out on a model in order to help people realize its beauty, take what artists see as potential and perfect it to the eyes of the viewer. Maybe we all need that help sometimes, that reminder of the beauty that's out there, that magic that thrills our senses.

What people may not realize is that this "air brushing" is possible without all the technology that has now defined this modernized term. The greatest most natural and real form of air brushing is found within true love. It is when you notice this new ability within yourself that you may realize just how in love you really are.

"We come to love not be finding a perfect person but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly" claims Sam Keen.

And he couldn't be more right. When you're in love you don't need posed photographs to tell you how beautiful your significant one is. And you don't need or want their photographs airbrushed. You can't take "potential" and call it "love" because there's no such thing as potential when it comes to love. True love takes the real overall image of the person before you and naturally transforms them into someone who's as perfect and real as you could ever imagine or feel...both inside and out, with no effort at all...

And this may take some time, and it may require some patience and strength at times. But if it's true love, the airbrushing tool embedded within you for this person will only grow as you learn about one another and share yourselves with each other. An eclectic gathering discovered along your journey together. It's like walking through some weeds when you stumble upon a flower. And from that moment on you'll always see that full bloomed flower wherever you go, always radiant, never fading, never bending, and the overall beauty of it always making you smile. From an outsider's view that can't be realistic: things always change, nothing stays as is, the sun doesn't always shine, colors don't always radiate...petals wilt. But they're not the ones in love. They don't have that well-developed tool placed within them by that one person who's so special to you. Maybe they have it for someone else, but not for your loved one. Yours is taken. That individual, specialized tool has already been developed by yourself. You look at the one you love in a way no one else quite can. And how can it get more wonderful than that?

While all this remains true, that doesn't mean that there aren't still hidden fears within ourselves, thoughts that cloud us and jumble our mind. So you have that person who you can't help but think about happily, and view as anything but perfect. And that's good. But there's still yourself. There comes times when we allow thoughts outside of our air-brushed vision and happy heart to enter this beautiful display of love before us. Thoughts of "what-ifs" that will swarm into the scene as dangerously as hornets out of a nest. "What if I'm not seen as perfectly as I see them?" "What if life throws obstacles and detours at us?" "What if my health changes? My features?" "What if my makeup smears?" "What if my hair thins?" "What if I hadn't started that argument?" "What if I dance off-beat to this song?" "What if I'm too open with them?" "What if someone comes between us?" And the worst being: "What if this doesn't last?" But what we forget amidst this whirl of negativity and fear is that 'what-ifs' never change a thing. You can't change what's already been done, and if you had done it differently, something else similar would have come along eventually because what's meant to be will always be. If you're meant to be with someone, you will be. And if you're meant to stay with them and your love to last...it will. And this may be hard for us to grasp at times, and it may be hard to swallow our fears and therefore wipe away our tears, but we MUST.

No good comes from staying stuck in your fear of what lies ahead. Time will always tell, and do we really wanna have our minds stuck in what we do not know, instead of what we do know here and now? I don't think so. Because it's here and now, in love, that you are happy and that the scene is perfect. And yes, it's scary that that could ever change, but our only choice is to embrace it and accept it as it comes. Be thankful for what you've been blessed to find at all, fleeting or everlasting. The most we can ever do is be ourselves and be all that we possibly and physically are capable of being for our loved one. Offer your whole heart. That's all there is. And listen to it. Use it as your compass. You can't fake it. And let's face it, there are some things you just can't change about yourself. But if it's true love and meant to last, that person has already airbrushed away all those imperfections about yourself that you stress over. They're not noticing them, and when they are, they're seeing flowers where you see weeds. So relax. And enjoy the moment. And soak in that unique, perfectly beautiful image of your loved one that only you can ever truly see in that way, that light, that passion. Embrace it while you can. And if you get the honor of always keeping this mutual and naturally airbrushed perfect scene of love within each other, then even better. But whether it stays or goes, we must focus on the fact that in all reality, it is still here and now. Don't waste a minute of it, don't lose a second of reflecting on the beauty of the moment. Let the love wash over you and refresh you with every breath you take, with every moment that warms you. The purifier to your soul, your life. Remember it, and cherish it for what it is.

Agatha Christie spoke the truth when she spoke of this concept:

"It is a curious thought, but it is only when you see people looking ridiculous that you realize just how much you love them."

When all is said and done, deep down all any of us want is to be loved completely for ourselves. To have our lover draw a heart around every flaw. To make us smile when we want to cry. To hold us closer by their side when we want to hide. And to see ourselves as perfect all-around, despite what others see or think. So the most any of us in love can do is to just have faith in love and in each other. Allow ourselves to absorb that beauty before us, immerse ourselves in the passion we feel...for there are no what-ifs in the here and now...and when you're in love nothing should enter that scenery of perfection your air brushed eyes see before you. Just enjoy that truest form of art: natural, pure, and real.



Photo by: Chris Craymer "Romance"

When I hide...do you promise to seek?

The bottom line is, life's not fair. It never claimed to be. There's always going to be that kind-hearted person who suffers more than their stuck-up neighbor. Beautiful spirits are guaranteed to cry a whole lot more than those who contain as much inner depth as the Dead Sea carries fish. You can slave hours over a research project just to see your perfunctory friend walk off with first prize. Sure, that's what life's going to offer, but sometimes we focus too much on this unfairness. Sometimes we take that pebble in our lives and throw it across the water just to watch it skip across the surface, spreading its rippling effect out across our view longer than it has to. We're often guilty of illuminating our perception of it. This isn't to say that people don't suffer, and that your problems aren't real. The world is lacking in empathy, but that doesn't mean you have to, especially in regards to yourself. It's alright to feel, and it's also okay to feel a little down on yourself sometimes. Congratulations, you're one of those human souls conscious of that deeper level of life. You can stop checking your pulse now, you're human, and still alive and aware. You can see its darkness, temptations, pain, suffering...and hopefully you're one of those people who can also come up for air and become re-aware of its beauty, pleasure, kindness, and love.

We have become a society filled with self-pity. It's not an unknown fact that you can easily look around at any moment and begin to feel self-conscious as the non-wrinkled 60-year olds look down at you. The juice-heads may tower over you, making the ground you walk upon shake. The pretty girls may tan their skin to an even shade and whiten their teeth to perfection. And yes, someone's hair is probably going to look better than yours at some point in your life. Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we ever stop and superficially compare these strangers, acquaintances, friends, or loved ones to ourselves? And the funny thing is, they're most likely doing the same exact thing. You are who you are, and you have so much to offer the world that no other person can in the same exact way.

As we grow up, we experience more than we ever imagined possible in our once simpler lives. We meet people who hurt us, betray us, and judge us. But we'll learn that to ever be truly happy and enjoy ourselves, we must swallow our fear of those dark shadows in life, filled with those mysterious, conniving souls. We'll learn to trust ourselves more than others, but also to allow our lives to open up to newcomers as we gain a new level of wisdom. It's through our own minds and hearts that we must assess who we let in and who we need to stay, or go. And we'll grow proud of ourselves and stronger as we hold our heads higher, laugh a littler louder, and shine that much brighter.

However, life's not a plateau, no matter how strong we get, or how solid our steps become. There's always going to be that obstacle, that unexpected path, or stump that trips our feet. When it comes to love, it can make us happier than ever before. We may begin to walk so fast it's as if we're flying, our heads in the clouds with a clear view ahead. But time allows for an eclectic setting in life, the possibilities endless. Love can make us stronger than ever before, serving as the plaster to our dented hearts, and matching so perfectly we wonder how we ever beat on without it. But even in love you'll find yourself stuck within moments of insecure branches that trip you up. And some may catch you so off guard that you'll take a little longer getting up. But why you ask? I was skipping along just fine, humming through a smile....

Katharine Hepburn answered this question with,

"Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get only with what you are expecting to give which is everything."

Sometimes in love, insecurities and self-consciousness comes from a new place within us. It isn't because we're weak individuals, and it isn't because we've fallen back in time and lost our inner strength or self-confidence. Take a deeper look into the definitions of those words. Love provokes a whole new level of uncertainties, and with these comes that self-consciousness. It doesn't matter if you date the most compassionate saint. At one time in your relationship you'll feel this way, and it's not because you doubt how you or your significant other feels. You could both be ready to walk down the aisle, but you'll still be straightening your tie, or rummaging with your dress, asking if you look as beautiful as you want to feel. And this time it's because of different reasons. It's not because you need to feel self-confident, nor because you want to be the prettiest girl in the room or the handsomest guy on the dance floor. The reason this time is because you want to remain that everything to the one you love. You want to stay that twinkle in their eyes. And our uncertainties as to how they'll react to changes within us, both those above and below the surface, will petrify us.

This time, when we trip over that stump as we skip along happily in love, we'll hesitate not because we can't get back up, but because our loved one awaits just in view ahead. And perhaps a few tears will escape as we ask, "Why right now, why this complication on such a delightful path?" And we may subconsciously then look down at our clothes and see them covered in mud...and we'll get the urge to run and hide for this isn't the way we wanted our loved one to see us...that perfect visual soiled. And this time we'll hide because we're so in love we want to offer everything to that other person, because in our eyes they're perfect, and because to us, they deserve the best there is. And whenever we fear we may not meet that definition, our uncertainty of the other's response will provoke that impulse to hide ourselves, cover-up the imperfections, wishing ourselves to magically sparkle clean and beautiful once again before we're seen.

Well, we can blow all the dandelions we want, making wish after wish, but those clothes are not going to wash themselves in mid-air, when we're isolated, away from any hope of recovery. For when we remain hidden, there's no moving forward. There's no answer to our uncertainty, and there's no response that can be seen--whether that be a look of disgust or abandonment, a tear-stained kiss, or a healing hug. At some point we have to come out of hiding and face what lies ahead. That's the only way we can ever look forward to skipping again, the only way we can ever flaunt our uniquely mud-splattered clothes. We need to trust the one we love and the fact that what's going to happen in life will happen, and we must continue on strongly. Our only hope is to uncover ourselves and reveal who we are, every part of us that at some point must be seen. We just have to pray that it's enough, and have faith in ourselves and all we can offer.

And if we're lucky, when we're ready to step out from behind that tree, we may just feel a hand pull ours and help guide us back out into the sunlight. And we just may get that kiss and that long-awaited hug that you desired before you ever fell and lost your way. And if we're not quite ready to step back into the open, maybe we'll find that other person right up-close next to us, ready to hide by our side for as long as we need. And as we stare into the eyes of our loved one and still see that sparkling image of ourselves reflect in them, we'll watch our worries and all of the momentary uncertainties dissolve away under the sun. And perhaps this time, you'll find yourself skipping arm in arm...smiling wider than ever...because the one you love still recognized you behind that tree...and still loved you, because you were still their everything. And everything was all you ever wanted for them, because through them you already had it too.


Photo by: Chris Craymer "Romance"

Blankets of Love: warmth, comfort, and...cover?

"Love is when you can be your true self with someone, and you only want to be your true self because of them."
-Terri Guillemets

Love. How is it that such a short word holds some of the greatest mysteries, complexities, and consist of the greatest worth that can be found in life? Interpretations of it are endless, a myriad of eclectic descriptions that transform and grow daily, by the seconds, by every life altering action... Yet amidst all of the unique differences still lies a concept threaded with familiarity--an understanding felt among us all as to what it means, the power it holds. As we age we discover the many qualities of it that pertain to us, and learn to categorize it in different levels within our own lives.

Within family lies the most primitive and essential kind of love. If you're lucky you'll also find it to be the longest known form of it. A bond felt the moment you're born though far from understanding its value or the meaning behind it all. You'll absorb it through the very first smiles you view of the people who created you, and soon the others you grow through, the ones who take care of you, nurture you, guide you. If you're fortunate enough, they'll be the people who stay by your side through the shining moments of your life and the darkest. They're categorized by the ones who you can't help but love. You'll fight, and get on one another's nerves through the disagreements you'll be bound to face, but they'll pass as time does, and you'll hopefully realize how precious this kind of love is. Acceptance for each other, and love without need for attraction or masks or fear because you know they've been through it all with you. Ugly days, beautiful ones, dressed up, dressed down, crying, smiling...they're the first ones with hugs and honesty and comfort within the home they create for you through their love that you can always come back to.

Then there's the love uncovered next through friends as bonds are created as the result of shared experiences, and relatable feelings that will emerge and draw you in exposing your opinions, dreams, and view on the life you're still trying to figure out yourself. And you'll uncover trust as you open up to them with the vulnerable hope that they'll be there for you if you're there for them. And no matter how much time passes, you'll carry a piece of them and how they've helped you, or what they've taught you, and you'll love them for that time, and for that new wisdom left within you. Maybe they'll stay with you or maybe they'll just leave imprints upon you you'll always remember in some way, whether it's a little bit more about who you are, or who you aren't.

An important, yet dreadful kind of love that mustn't be overlooked is the "fake, empty love" that we try to force out of people we'll meet along the way. Perhaps a middle school crush, or just a person you try desperately to scratch through the surface of to find anything that feels like the word's supposed to. And you may become exasperated when you realize that it's just not there. We too often are in such a hurry to uncover love that we hold onto these people with the hope that it'll just magically appear one day, that they'll change, or your thoughts about it will. But it won't. Even those naive about love know how it's supposed to feel, what feels right, what has potential. This doesn't mean it's worthless, but it's not love, and hopefully we eventually realize how it's not worth all the time we give it either. Or the effort. And most of all, not worth the emptiness felt within it. It'll tear at our emotions and question who we are, what we want, and what love even is. That's just ourselves fighting for the truth, gasping for pure air so that we may once again break free of this trap if we ever want to find more. It requires strength. But we need to experience this sorrowful imitation, this fraud of the word before we can truly appreciate the real when we find it, or perhaps just that which is already in our lives.

And then there's the most sought after kind of love. The kind that is pure, and real, and one that even the darkest cynic secretly longs for. Pure, head over heels, affectionate love. This kind of love can be the most powerful, most amazing, and at times the scariest, as it plunges you into new feelings and emotions you can't compare to anything else. There are no guidelines, no safety nets, and no sense to it all for it is something beyond our analyzations, structured definitions, and tangible emotions. It's out of our control. When you enter into love, you slowly open up your heart and soul to that one other person and trust them to treat them well. Everything's exposed--the most vulnerable state you can be in. And as exhilarating as that breeze around our bare selves is, its power scares us. We may shiver and flinch as that person tries to understand what they're seeing, that new state of ourselves that even we can't help but observe. It's a whole new reflection and there is no hiding. What we must learn to do is to face it, embrace it, and cherish it while we can. Because it's in this open state that we can transform into the most beautiful image of ourselves...if we allow it.


Photo by: Steven Meisel, Vogue 2009

Smudges on our reflections...

A scratch on a painting. A smudge on glass that once sparkled. Tarnished gold. A wrinkle in your clothes...on your face. Each one of the first things you notice when you walk into a room, right? Not necessarily, yet maybe eventually. But why must these little things stand out so much and distort our vision of seeing something that's still the same object, something still wonderful...something still consisting of overall beauty? Does our focus have to remain upon that fault...especially when it's our own? But, then again, who says that it has to? Why can't we find the strength to conquer the ACTUAL fault--formulated within each and every member of society since it was able to take hold of our minds?

Babies don't know the difference between a mother with a big nose, or a crooked tooth, short hair, long hair, or a model. They are the truest form of purity within human nature for a reason. All they know is who feeds them, comforts them, and loves them. Why must this change? Not all of us let society corrupt our vision of what makes a person one of substance or value, someone a friend or a lover. But we're still all guilty at one time or another, no matter how perfect, of being that horrible self criticizer. If we're in that commendable part of the human race able to see the good in someone without focusing on his or her "society-deemed" imperfections, then where is the compassion for ourselves when we need it the most? Why do we lose that reality of the total picture and focus all of our energy and worry on faults of our own? And I don't mean character ones we're capable of changing. I'm not talking about the wrinkled shirt we can iron back to new. I'm referring to those scratches embedded within ourselves, those physical ones we can't just wash away. I mean the ones that tarnish the reflection we see when we look at ourselves. Something a little more complicated than a wrinkle in a shirt or a smudge on your face. And then you try to hide that "flaw" the best you can, holding on to the hope that others won't notice it, or you. In reality, many probably don't, or perhaps they just don't pay any mind to it. Sometimes trying to hide something, or focusing too much of your attention on it is what actually draws others to notice it at all. And most of the time, acting this way does not help the matter. It only brings a part of your self-conscious character out into the open for others to see. And this is a part of you that doesn't need to surface past the point of being humble.

We lose focus on the good qualities within us and let those that don't quite meet our criteria, those not part of our original physical makeup that emerge, take hold of our minds and attitudes. They're only clouds over our sunshine. But how is the sun supposed to shine again if you don't provide the windy strength to push that darkness over yourself away? The clouds will still be there, for you can't always have clear, blue skies in life, but you can still push them out of your way and shine through it. And who doesn't smile and brighten up when sunbeams appear after a dark, dreary day? It subconsciously gives us the reminder and hope that we can do the same and find the power to push through whatever we're allowing to block the beauty that we do behold. The change in you and your mindset will make others come around as well. We have to believe this, and we have to find this strength to overcome our self-obsessions on the reality we cannot change. Hope and faith are powerful things and we have to believe in the best. Each one of us is a beautiful painting.

Each one of us can shine if we let ourselves. Some of us have permanent smears and smudges there since production, some are knicks, dents, and faded colors that appear along the way, and others seem to have hardly any visible imperfections at first glance. But is their picture as exciting as yours? Their story? Their final product? That's for the viewers to determine...and ourselves. Many things we'll focus on in the mirror when looking at our reflections; it's natural. Some things we're just born with and they become a part of our appearance, characteristics, and overall identity. Other things will appear and change as we age, and this will petrify us. Some we'll be able to hide and fix: Gray hairs colored back to life, dark circles hidden, teeth whitened, arms strengthened, bodies toned. Others may require more serious measures to change: Surgery, doctors, treatments. And others we may never be able to alter or fix. And if we could, is it really worth it half the time? Would we even be happy with the change once it's made? And would a bigger part of ourselves be lost after it all? The reality is we're always going to wish we could change something physical about the makeup of ourselves, new and old things we'll still refer to as "imperfections". We're only human, and we need to give ourselves a break too amidst all the pressure, judgment, and expectations out there in a world filled with shallowness.

But while we hide behind these with worry for what we fear, we mustn't dwell in this state for too long. We can't allow ourselves to lose the spark that makes us who we are. We must remember we're created from an eclectic mix of genes, and this is what makes us unique. We must work with our faults, hold our heads high, work past self- and societal criticisms, and beam through it all with a smile. Maybe it's true when they say those who go through the most in life are the strongest, the most empathetic, the most full of life... or maybe it's just those who work through the obstacles and trudge through whatever life throws at them with a smile and with love to give that are the strongest and most admirable. May this be something to work at each day and remember when you're down on yourself. There are so many more important things in life, and wonderful things about yourself and what you can offer, And if you do this, you'll probably see your reflection sparkle with beauty once again.



Photo 1: Keke by Arthur Elgort
Photo 2: Raquel Zimmerman by Steven Klein

The enigma of ourselves

The enigma of ourselves, an everyday conundrum when you think about it. Picture yourself as a myriad of little puzzle pieces. The background's set at birth. You're given a pattern of genetics--a personality all your own, and a being of substance. But who you are can be transformed within a second, your insides constantly molded and painted. Most of the time you can't notice it in one another until you really observe, or watch someone you know so well slowly transform--their bodies the same, yet somehow unrecognizable to you. Or maybe it's even yourself in the mirror. But what if the way we saw one another was changed? What if we could see each person before us as a composition of puzzle pieces? Each characteristic and experience displayed through a kaleidoscope of colors and shapes over our primitive pattern that is embedded to our core. And what if we could wash away certain ones we felt were out of place or unwanted?

If this was reality, we'd quickly notice that a lot of those pieces, and a lot of those colors were from our friends and people we've met throughout our lives. Some add that touch of color that makes you question how it was never a part of you to begin with. Classic. A part of you you'll always smile upon. Others you can't erase fast enough, but no matter how hard you scrub, there's always a faded imprint of a reminder that you'll occasionally catch glimpse of and wonder how you could ever let it affect you, change you. Graffiti never meant to stain you, taint you, break you. And some leave scars, harder to cover, more difficult to move on from, to stop stressing and obsessing over. But you recognized it, you snapped out of it, and alas just when you thought it'd always catch your eye, your focus, your mind--you found strength. Strength within and insight as to the mosaic of yourself that you envisioned...the one you could be proud of, the one that you knew represented the true you. And that strength allowed new colors to form, new shapes and fresh beauty to take hold of and allow you to continue along the way you know is true to yourself. We can't always know that final image.

Like mentioned earlier, we're all puzzles with no set picture, kaleidoscopes over a foundation. There's no perfect arrangement to the pieces, and each shape seems to change at different times. But the most important part of this is to only take pieces from others. I know from experience that I contain an eclectic group of friends, and I always have. When people sometimes look at who I am and what I value, they question the selection of people in my life. But one thing I've realized is that sometimes the pieces you want to become a part of you are found in the most unlikely places and the most unexpected people. You can't choose it, it just happens. Sometimes you're just meant to find that hidden part of someone that you can relate to, respect, or want to understand more of, whether you help them or they help you--probably both will occur. The most important part is to just find those bits you adore and make them your own in you own array of character. If you take too much and allow them to blur your lens, you'll lose sight of your self. You'll hardly be able to see that original pattern of yourself anymore. But at the same time, you have to find those hidden treasures in others when you're meant to because you don't want to just have the original dress laid upon you because how exciting would that be? You'd never learn, or grow, or shine as much as you could.

You must use those gems to decorate yourself, not to overtake yourself. Make them accessories to your souls. And you're most likely going to have to earn the ones most valuable to yourself, good from good and good from bad. Because most of those come from patience and time. And while all this is true, some people can't seem to always find that strength, they allow themselves to become immersed in others, overtaken by their stamps upon them. Instead of taking pieces, they allow themselves to lose sight of who they are behind all of the accessories now weighed down upon them. It's so important not to do this either because it's the times that you let the graffiti overtake you, or small parts to become big parts that don't work with your picture anymore, that you become tangled in it all, and need to fight it away or back to its place even harder. And not everyone has the strength to, we all lose it at times, so take caution when you allow people to become a part of you, how much you allow, and when to know to erase some away. It's all about experimenting and learning and envisioning. But you've gotta have faith in who you are and who others are or you'll never allow anything more beautiful to be created either.

And at the end of the day, everyone wants that masterpiece of themselves, a masterpiece created through imperfections, and a kaleidoscope of truth, personality, and beauty. Be honest with yourself about what it is you want to look like as that puzzle, and build up that strength and the good within you to hold on tight to when you feel like being weak or you lose direction as to where you want to go. No one has the answers, but everyone has the possibility for greatness, and this can only truly be achieved when you find that perfect balance within yourself and others. Take a piece from all you meet, allow beauty to be painted upon you with a color of others mixed with your own; the creation will be beautiful. And when you find that it's not quite right, turn that lens around, rearrange some pieces, toss some graffiti to the side, and take another look. There's always time to readjust, and there's always beauty to be found and created. But never allow the pieces that do belong to be covered by those that don't for too long because if they were placed there by someone else, they could break away some pieces, and be harder to find again. Always hold those pieces dear. Those and your foundation. As for the rest, have fun with your life and trying to figure out your puzzle day by day.

There's only one key to the enigma to ourselves: To always evaluate your image, piece by piece, and the self as a whole. The rest you just have to have faith, and trust that it'll all fall into place as you go along. Trust yourself. Just make sure your image is something you can love, something you can look at and smile upon. Trust me, it's a good feeling when you get there. Make your own definition of aesthetics. Hold strong in the artistic talent instilled within your life.


"Michelangelo said the best way to judge the essential elements of a sculpture is to throw it down a hill and the unimportant pieces will break away. Sometimes life is like that. It tosses us down a hill. But when we reach the bottom and only the important things are left, that's when our vision clears. That's when we hold on tight to what we know, while hope stirs inside us. It's all a matter of perspective."
-Everwood






Photo by: Steven Meisel, Vogue

Ever Forming Paths...

Upon the creation of this blog, I can't really say exactly what direction will be taken. I knew that I wanted to write and share my opinions. Perhaps I can open the eyes to whomever may view this to ideas they may never have thought about, or to create reverence for the beauties within life that are often missed. I looked up pictures of paths for inspiration and came upon the one posted at the top of this entry. I thought how majestic this photo looked with its handmade path of flowers. Something natural combined with human creation. As I thought about this idea, my mind drifted to the parallel between this concept and my own life. People often admire children for the way they can run carelessly through life without extreme stress as to what lies before them in the future. I don't think this is entirely true, though. Depending of course on their circumstances, children stress in their own ways. Perhaps through nightmares or the shadows within their rooms that keep them wide-eyed throughout the night. In more extreme cases, perhaps these children are already being forced to grow up as they watch an abusive relationship, or deal with the abuse themselves. I think most are just able to hold onto that glimpse of hope and faith that everything will be okay. Their active imaginations enable them to magnify this optimistic piece within them. I'm young afterall, life has just started for me, there must be so much more ahead, they must think. As we grow older, deal with loss, heartbreak, betrayal, self-doubt, and ever increasing responsibilities, we're more prone to focus on the stress. We forget to magnify that optimistic part of us that needs to be grasped in order for strength to rejuvinate our souls.

So, this flower path shown above made me realize how you don't need to see a set path in life. You just have to create one along the way wherever your decisions lead you. Although the famous fork in the road matches the fear and uncertainty within decisions; it's an image that darkens choices. You have to choose your own path and find the positives within it. There will always be what you will refer to as "mistakes" or "obstacles" in any direction you choose. But, when you focus on what they teach you and realize how much they strengthen your mind, spirit and perspective, you'll have a small ounce of gratitude. Whenever I've tried to plan what I'll do or be in my life, life seems to veer me in a slightly different direction than I expected. From small to big unexpected turns of events, I've been able to look back on how they've changed me in some way for the better. It's as if every dirt road I've fallen upon, I've been able to grow flowers there before continuing on. Sometimes you can't plan where life will take you; you just have to trust that it'll be where you're supposed to be.

For whatever reason, you're meant to end up where you do. You're meant to meet who you do along the way, whether it be for a moment or a lifetime. They come in and out when they're supposed to. We just have to try to see the best in these situations and allow ourselves to grow from the environment and people surrounding us at each time. No one chooses one exact path. There are no two set paths to choose from. That's what makes us different, unique. So on a more focused note, I'm not going to allow myself to categorize this blog. Some entries may be self reflective, some may hypothesize, and some philosophize. You may see topics from life, from love, from travel, from fashion, from writing, from hopes, from dreams, from everything and everywhere you could ever expect. That's more characteristic to myself. I appreciate all elements within life and try to combine them into my very own eclectic disposition. It may be pleasing, sometimes quirky, sometimes questionable, but always real. This is me, and there are no limits to the categories that that could fall under. Enjoy :)